oPeN LeTtErS

sAiD i wOuLd..

tRiEd..

bUt sTiLL..

wHaT i hAvE fOr yOu iS wiNniNg oVeR..

yOu’Re aLwAyS oN mY MiNd..

hOw dO i tAkE a sTeP wHeN iT aLwAyS dRaWs mE bAcK tO tHe CiRcLe wE’Ve mAdE?!

wHy aM i sTiLL iN LoVe w/ yOu?!

wHy aRe wE LiKe tHiS?!..

yOu tOLd mE ‘aKaLa mO oKaY LnG sKiN LhAt?!mUkHa LnG oKaY pErO aNg tOtOo mAsAmA pRiN LOoB Q s nAnGyAri’…

iF tHaT’s tHe cAsE..i wiSh yOu DiD nOt cHoOsE tHiS wAy..tHiS SiTuAtiOn fOr uS..cOz iN tHe 1St pLaCe, tHiS iSn’T tHe sOLuTiOn..

(SiGh)

i hOpE yOu wiLL cOmE tO yOuR sEnSeS..bAcK tO iT..

iF yOu tHiNk tHaT gEtTiNg bAcK iSn’T tHe sOLuTiOn..iM tELLiNg yOu nOw tHaT iT iS..

(SiGh)

pLs bE bRaVe eNoUgH..

pLs sToP bEiNg sELfiSh..

pLs sToP bEiNg sO cOLd & cLoSeD..

pLs sToP rUnNiNg aWaY..

fRoM yOu..

fRoM mE..

fRoM uS..

pLs..

jUsT fiNd yOuR wAy bAcK..i kNoW yOu sTiLL cAn..

i hAvE fAiTh iN yOu..

hAvE fAiTh iN mE,tOo..

pLs..

i MiSs yOu..rAm..

& i sTiLL LoVe yOu..

sO eFfiN tiReD oF iT aLL..

wHeN wiLL tHiS hEaRtAcHe eNd?!..

wHy aM i aLwAyS iN tHiS pLaCe?!

i dOn’T uNdErStAnD aT aLL..

aM i rEaLLy bOuNd tO LiVe mY LiFe fULL oF pAiN?!..

aM i nOt mEaNt tO bE hApPy?!

aM i mAdE tO bE bRoKeN?!

f***!..

iM sO tiReD oF cRyiNg, oF wHiNiNg, oF hUrTiNg..tiReD oF tHiS bRoKeN hEaRt..tiReD oF PiCkiNg uP tHe piEcEs..

gOoDnEsS!..iM 23 & iM sTiLL iN piEcEs!..

i dOn’T rEaLLy kNoW iF iM gOnNa bE aS hApPy aS i wAs wHeN rAm & i wErE sTiLL tOgEtHeR..tO bE hOnEsT, dAyS w/ HiM rEaLLy wErE mY hApPiEsT & mOsT wOnDeRfUL..iT wAs sHoRt-LiVeD..i dOn’T kNoW iF iM eVeR gOnNa LiVe tHaT dOwN..i dOn’T wAnT tO..wHy wOuLd i wALk aWaY fRoM aLL oF iT aNyWaY?!..

mR. riGhT-fOr-mE-tHeY-sAy..wHoEvEr tHe f*** yOu aRe..i’LL bEaT tHe cRaP oUt oF yOu..i’Ve bEeN fReAkiNg wAiTiNg fOr yOu..a LoT hAd tO cOmE aRoUnD tO hUrT mE..tHe LeAsT tHaT yOu cOuLd’Ve dOnE wAs tO gEt hErE tHe eArLiEsT tiMe pOsSiBLe sO tHaT i cOuLd’Ve aVoiDeD tHe pAiN tHeY cAuSeD mE..bUt wHaT?!yOu’Re sTiLL nOt aRoUnD..yOu wAnTeD mE tO wAiT a LiTtLe mOrE?!eFfYu!!..iM tiReD oF wAiTiNg fOr yOu..

rEaLLy..

sHoOt!..

mY bRaiN’s nOt fUnCtiOniNg sO wELL..

cAn’T tHiNk oF wOrDs aNyMoRe..i gUeSs i sHoULd jUsT cUt tHiS oNe oFf fOr nOw..

yOu sAw mY wOrTh..yOu sAw mUcH oF iT..

wHaT hUrTs mE tHe mOsT?!..

iT’s tHe rEaSoN wHy yOu hAd tO LeT mE gO..

yOu sTiLL LoVe mE, i fEeL tHaT..

nO mAtTeR hOw yOu tRy tO sHoW mE oR tELL mE tHaT wE’rE bEtTeR oFf tHiS wAy..sO-cALLeD fRiEnDs (tRaNsLaTiOn:bEiNg jUsT tHe wAy wE wErE..tOtAL sTrAnGeRs tO eAcH oThEr).. i sTiLL cAn fEeL & sEe tHe mAn i LoVeD & sTiLL LoVe..& tHe tHiNg yOU sAiD aBoUt wAntiNg tO bE aLoNe rAtHeR tHaN gEt bAcK & PiCk uP wHaT wE’vE LeFt bEhiNd?!..tHaT’s a LiE..dOn’T aSk mE wHy iM sAyiNg tHiS..gO aSk yOuRsELf..

pEoPLe tELL mE i sHoULd nOt wAsTe aNy mOrE oF mY tiMe wAitiNg fOr yOu tO cOmE bAcK..tHaT i dOn’T dEsErVe yOu..tHaT i sHoULd mOvE oN..

i tRiEd tHaT, rEaLLy..aNd iT’s a LoT mOrE pAiNfuL tHaN hOLdiNg oN..eVeRytiMe i tRy tO tAkE a sTeP aWaY fRom yOu,fRoM uS & fRoM eVeRyThiNg tHaT wE hAd, i gEt aNgRy aT yOu..& i dOn’T wAnNa bE aNgRy aT yOu..i dOn’T eVeN wAnNa fiNd a rEaSoN tO bE aNgRy aT yOu..

..aNd i wAnT tO bE oVeR tHe pAiN..iT cAn oNLy mAkE tHiNgS wOrSe fOr mE..

..wHy DiD yOu rEaLLy hAvE tO LeT mE gO?!

cOuLdN’t yOu tRuSt mE eNoUgH?!..dO yOu tHiNk i’D rAtHeR wAnT sOmEoNe bEtTeR tHaN yOu aRe?!..dO yOu tHiNk i’LL bE gOiNg aNyWhErE jUsT cOz yOu’Re LiKe tHaT?!..

yOu hAvE uNdErEsTiMaTeD mE & mY LoVe & wHaT mY LoVe cAn dO fOr yOu..

yOu uNdErEsTiMaTeD yOuRsELf fOr sAyiNg yOu wErEn’T gOoD eNoUgH & tHaT yOu nEvEr gAvE eNoUgH..wE kNoW yOu’Ve giVeN mE sO mUcH oF tHe gOoD tHiNg,sO mUcH oF tHe LoVE..sO mUcH oF eVeRyThiNg..yOu sAiD yOU dOn’T dEsErVe mE cOz yOu’Re nOtHiNg..& tHaT i dOn’T dEsErVe yOu cOz yOu’Re nOtHiNg..tHaT i sHoULdN’t cRy fOr yOu..tHaT yOu’Re nOt tHe bEsT tHiNg tHaT hAs hApPeNeD tO mE?!..tHaT iM bEtTeR oFf w/ sOmEoNe eLsE?!..yOu’Re nOt wOrThY?!

yOu aRe wOrThY oF eVeRyThiNG..i wOuLdN’t dArE eNdUrE tHiS pAiN oF LoViNg bUt nOt hAviNg yOu..i wOuLdN’t fiGhT LiKe hELL..i wOuLdN’t sHeD tHeSe tEaRs..iF yOu’Re nOt wOrThY oF iT..iF tHoSE wHo hAvE hUrT yOU bEfOrE diDn’T sEe iT, iT’s nOt yOuR fAuLt..iT’s tHeiR LoSs..& i?!..i sAw yOuR wOrTh..

pEoPLe mAy nOt LiKe tHe iDeA oF mE gOiNg tHrOuGh aLL oF tHeSe jUsT fOr yOu tO sEe hOw wOrThY yOu aRe..bUt i dOn’T cArE!..

YOU ARE WORTH EVERYTHiNG iN THiS WORLD!..i JUST WiSH YOU CAN SEE iT THE WAY i COULD..

dOn’T aSk mE fOr rEaSoNs..

i LoVe yOu..

yOu sAw mY wOrTh..

i sAw yOuR wOrTh..

yOu mAy bE tHe mOsT mEsSeD-uP,f***eD uP,cOmPLiCaTeD pErSoN iN tHiS wOrLd..

..BUT i LOVE YOU!..

..pLeAsE..

(yOu jUsT rEfUsE tO bEnD sO i kEeP bEnDiNg tiL i bReAk)

…

i nO LoNgEr hAvE aNy iDeA wHaT tO dO..sHoOt!..

T_T

Be In My Shoes

 

You always see things your way

When will you go to my side?

Don’t blame me for my choices

But feel bad for me…

 

Be in my shoes

Look at how I see things

Try living my life

You’ll understand why…

 

Feel my pain

And you’ll realize

What it feels like to die everyday

In every worse way…

 

Be in my shoes

For once

You’ll understand my story

You’ll understand my life…

 

Take a step…

I dare you to…

 

Face Towel

 

Pick me

Use me

Throw me…

 

Catch me

Pass me

Drop me…

 

Then leave me…

 

There in a corner…

 

And I’ll wait again

For those who will do the same…

 

Over and over

Until forever…

 

I Wrote You A Letter

 

I wrote you a letter

An eleven-paged letter

I’m wondering if I should hand it over

Or keep it forever.

 

I wrote down the things

I wasn’t able to say

During the hundreds of times

I tried to plead my case.

 

Those are the things

I’ve been trying to tell you

But are still lost in the air

All because you wouldn’t even care to give an ear.

 

I have been thinking,

“What if I keep it?

Hide it forever

And just leave my words hanging nowhere?”

 

Would it be right

To leave things behind?

Words that could fix us

Once you give us the chance?

 

But I wonder if you’d get mad

And make me feel bad

No, now I guess I should not think about that

It will only make me sad.

 

Well, I guess I should give it to you

So that I can finally get through

And the next best thing to do

Is for you to finally figure things out

While I wait, again and still, for you…

 

I’ll give it to you…

 

…Later…

aLoNe..

bRoKeN..

iNcOmPLeTe..

dEaD..

tHaT wAs mE bEfOrE yOu..

 

dArK..

cOLd..

fULL oF pReTeNsE..

iT wAs eVeRyThiNg i kEpT iNsiDe..

 

i tALk..

i sMiLe..

i LaUgH..

bUt iT’s aLL jUsT a fAcAdE..

 

..aNd tHeN yOu cAmE..

 

nO LoNgEr aLoNe..

hEaLeD..

wHoLe..

aLiVe..

 

fULL oF LiGhT..

fULL oF wArMtH..

fULL oF tRuTh..

 

tOo sPeEcHLeSs tO tALk..

sMiLeD gEnUiNeLy..

LaUgHeD wHoLe-hEaRtEdLy..

 

fiNaLLy, i aM aLriGhT..

 

bUt nO..

sUdDeNLy, yOU cHoSe tO gO..

 

dO yOU hOnEsTLy tHiNk tHaT’s jUsT iT?!

 

aNd yOu sAiD i wAs fiNe bEfOrE yOu

aNd i’D bE fiNe aFtEr yOu..

 

nOw tAkE a LoOk aGaiN

aT wHo i wAs

aNd wHaT i wAs

aNd hOw i wAs

bEfOrE yOu cAmE aNd sHoOk mY wOrLd

aNd sEe fOr yOuRsELf iF yOu’Ve mAdE tHe riGhT dEciSiOn tO jUsT LeAvE mE aLoNe..

 

i’Ve bEeN pLeAdiNg eVeRy nOw aNd tHeN

bUt yOu wOuLdN’t jUsT LiStEn..

 

hOw cAn yOu jUsT LeAvE mE hErE hAnGiNg?!

aFtEr eVeRyThiNg?!

aFtEr mAkiNg mE bELiEvE?!

aFtER mAkIng mE fALL?!

tHaT’s iT?!

tHaT’s aLL?!

 

yOu sTiLL hAvE tHe tiMe tO dEciDe..

 

aNd wE’LL sEe..

iF i aM gOiNg bAcK tO tHe pErSoN tHaT i wAs..

tHe pErSoN yOu tHoUgHt yOu kNeW i wAs..

tHe pErSoN i tHoUgHt i’D nEvEr sEe aGaiN..

 

aLoNe..

bRoKeN..

iNcOmPLeTe..

dEaD..

 

dArK..

cOLd..

fULL oF pReTeNsE..

 

tALkiNg..

sMiLiNg..

LaUgHiNG..

 

aNd dEeP iNsiDe..

nOtHiNg..

 

tHiNK aBoUt iT..

 

tHaT wAs mE..

tHaT wiLL bE mE aGaiN..

 

..aNd wOrSe..

 

:c

wELL..i tHiNk i aM..i dOn’T kNoW..sO mAnY bAd sTuFfS hAs hApPeNeD tO mE & nO mAtTeR wHaT i tRy tO dO,i oNLy eNd uP gEtTiNg bRoKeN..i tRiEd bEiNg tHe bEsT pErSoN tHaT i cAn bE & sTiLL iT’s tHe sAmE oLd sToRy..

i aM sO dAmN tiReD oF tHiS kiNd oF sH*T!..iM tRyiNg tO hOLd eVeRyThiNG iN yEt i eNd uP fALLiNg aPaRt..i LeT iN pEoPLe yEt tHeY LeAvE mE w/O eVeN tELLiNG mE..f*** tHaT!..

nOw i dOn’T kNoW wHaT iM sUpPoSeD tO dO,fEeL,tHiNk & bELiEvE..

GoD fOrBiD..bUt i rEaLLy aM sLoWLy LoSiNg iT..

iM sOrRy..

i nEvEr wAnTeD tO gO uP tO tHiS pOiNt..

bUt hOw cAn i nOt?!

:c

sOrRy k..

mAkULiT n tAo yUnG nGmA2hAL sEo..

dEtErMiNaDo sYa n d k mWLa s LyF nYa..

aT sYa s LyF mO..

iKaW kC,e..

yOu mAdE hEr LoVe yOu..

dO yOu hOnEsTLy tHiNk n mAdALi LnG n i-LeT gO nYa nG gNoOn2 LnG yUnG LhAt sEnYo?!

..yUng fEeLiNgS nYa fOr yOu?!

hAvE yOu nOt mAdE hEr fALL,tHeN sHe wOn’T bUg yOu..

sO gO FiGuRe..

i’Ve gOt nEwS fOr yOu..

NO!..

i’LL pRoVe yOu wRoNg..

iM fiGhTiNg a gOoD fiGhT..

iT iS a gOoD fiGhT..

iT’s wOrTh eVeRyThiNg iN mY LiFe..

sO pLs..

dOn’T bRiNg mE dOwN..

i’LL cHaNgE yOuR MiNd..

i’LL cHaNgE eVeRyThiNg yOu tHoUgHt wAs riGhT..

i cAn sTiLL fEeL yOu hErE wiTh mE bUt yOu’Re jUsT hOLdiNg bAcK..

iM nOt a QuiTtEr, iM tELLiNg yOu..

cOz iF i aM a QuiTtEr tHeN i dOn’T tHiNk i’D sTiLL bE aRoUnD..

sO kEeP tHiS iN MiNd..

iT’s aLL oR nOtHiNg..

aLaM mO nMaN cGuRo kNg cNo k..

aT aLaM mO kNg aNo aNg iBiG Q sBhiN..

aNo p b kLnGaN Q sBhiN pRa pGbGyAn mO yUnG gS2 Q?!

aYoKo nG SiTwAsYoN nTiN..

d n kTa mAaBoT..pRaNg aNg LaYo2 mO sKiN..dAti dALi mO LpTaN..

d n kTa mAkiLaLa..gS2 kTa mAkiLaLa kAsO pRaNg d mO mGwA iPaKiLa2 sRLi mO sKiN..mAs kLa2 p nGa kTa nOoN kSa nGyOn..

bUti p nOoN,mAs mAdALi..

..gNgWa mO p cOmPLiCaTeD LhAt..

aLaM Q yUnG cNsBi mO n d mO kYa..aT wAg mUnA uMaSa..

aNo b gS2 mO gWiN Q?!

nHi2RaPaN n aQ..

pLs nMaN..wAg mO n pHiRaPaN p yUnG SiTwAsYoN NtiNg dALaWa..

mAs mAhiRaP kC yUnG gN2..yUnG wLaNg wLa..

bUmALiK k n..pLs..

aYuSiN nTiN ‘tO..nG mGkSmA..tYo 2..nDi yUnG gN2..

pLs nMaN..

iM giViNg yOu tHe tYm tO aDjUsT..nO cOmMiTmEnTs fOr nOw, wHaTsOeVeR..

aT LeAsT kHiT gNoOn mAn LnG, mAs pALaGaY aQ..

pLs..

cAn’T yOu sEe hOw i aM fiGhtiNg fOr uS?!…hOw iM mAkiNg iT eAsiEr fOr yOu..fOr mE..fOr uS..

aYoKo kC dUmAtiNg yUnG aRaW n iSa sTiN yUnG mGrE2gReT n gN2 tYo..

pLs..giVe uS tHe cHaNcE..

giVe mE tHe cHaNcE tO hELp yOu..

kC VeRyDaY, iT’s gEtTiNg a LoT hArDeR fOr mE..iM dOiNg mY vErY bEsT tO kEeP mYsELf tOgEtHeR..

pLs..

i nEeD yOu..sEo kYa aQ kUmUkUhA nG sTrEnGtH..cMuLa nG dUmAtINg k s bUhAy Q..

pLs..

iM nOt aSkiNg fOr sO mUcH..

wAg mO riN aQ iTuLaK pLyO..pLs nMaN..nDi kC mAaAyOs nG gN2,e..

pLs..

aYoKo mWLa k sKiN..

aT aYoKo dUmAtiNg yUnG aRaW n aYoKo n mKtA k p..

aYoKo..

pLs..

i LoVe yOu..

i MiSs yOU..

pLs..

cOmE bAcK..tO mE..

pLs..

:’)

Sugar (acoustic) - Tonic“>\”Sugar- Tonic\”

iF tHeRe iS sOmEtHiNg tHaT i hAvE tO bE tHaNkFuL fOr aBoUt tHeSe pAsT fEw dAyS, iT wOuLd bE aNyThiNg tHaT hAs a LoT tO dO wiTh yOu..oR jUsT yOu..tO bE hOnEsT,i’Ve nEvEr sMiLeD tHiS wAy..eVeR!..aNd yOu mAdE mE dO sO..i nEvEr eVeR tHoUgHt tHaT aLL oF tHeSe wOuLd bE pOsSiBLe..i nEvEr tHoUgHt tHaT sOmEoNe LiKe yOu eXiStS iN tHiS wOrLd..hAaAaAaAy…….hAhAhA!!..iM sTiLL aT LoSt fOr wOrDs cOz oF tHiS iNcReDiBLe hApPiNeSs tHaT i aM fEeLiNg riGhT nOw jUsT bY tHiNkiNg oF yOu..nOw, tHeRe aRe sO mAnY tHiNgS tHaT i aM LoOkiNg fOrWaRd tO..aNd tHoSe tHiNgS aRe wiTh yOu..

yOu kNoW wHaT?! i dOn’T tHiNk tHiS pOsT wOn’T bE eNoUgH fOr mE tO sAy wHaT i hAvE iN MiNd & wHaT i fEeL aBoUt yOu..aS i’Ve sAiD, i’M sTiLL aT LoSt fOr wOrDs..

tHoUgH yOu cAmE wiThOuT a wArNiNg, i’M sTiLL gLaD yOu DiD..i hOpE yOu’LL sTaY..aNd i hOpE wHaTeVeR wE hAvE tOdAy, iT wiLL nOt oNLy sTaY jUsT tHaT wAy bUt gRoW aS wELL..i aM hOpiNg aNd pRaYiNg tHaT wE’d bE fOr rEaL..

i gUeSs yOu kNoW wHaT i aM fEeLiNg fOr yOu wiTh tHiS sChEmE oN tHiS pArTiCuLaR LiNe?!..hEhEhE..

tHaNk yOu..